Archive for the ‘Ruminations’ Category

Agenda For the Future (do I dare hold myself to this?)

July 28, 2008

This may be jumping the gun, but, I put a deposit down for a single bedroom apartment. I hear back on Tuesday if I “qualify”. I don’t think there are any reasons why I don’t, but, I feel like I’ll be able to breathe easy again once I know.

With that pretext in mind, I present to you, as well as a reminder to myself, what I have planned for the future. You see, there are a lot of things I can’t do with other people around. Say, cleaning for instance. Cleaning helps organize not only my physical environment, but it restores some sort of order in my mind…cleaning is, I would say, a metaphore of restoration for me. Having order is something I like surrounding myself with.

But for some ungodly reason, I can’t bring myself to clean if anyone else is around. Living at home with my family makes cleaning impossible for me. My brother typically doesn’t leave the house his room and I become worried that I’m bothering him with all the noise, or else I become self-conscious, fretful that I’m not doing a satisfactory job of cleaning. I am especially fretful about that when my father is around, who is probably boarder-line obsessive compulsive about cleanness. Moreover about the light switches. To him, if the light is off then the switch must be in the down position. This may seem like a simple logical thing, but it’s a bit hard when you’ve got two or three way switches, meaning, a light could be off and the switch could be up, or vice-versa. Yeah, it’s that extreme. It’s from observing his behavior of order and cleanness that has probably leaked into my psyche.

So, it’ll be a relief to be out on my own, being able to clean to my own satisfaction without the imaginary¬† captiousness that my father has never actually acted upon. In fact, he probably doesn’t care THAT much how well or unwell I clean.

Okay, so this probably a useless post so far, but I made a list entitled: “Instead of X do Y”. So, here we go:
– instead of neglecting my surroundings do something about it, like clean it
– instead of sitting, doing nothing, do sit-ups and do something about my flab
– instead of pizza rolls eat carrots or apples
– instead of relationships do friendships
– instead of driving do biking, walking, or riding the bus*
– instead of frustration do some relaxation exercises
– instead of boding on the past go out and meet new people
– instead of soda-pop drink water or juice
– instead of women…nah, stay with women
– instead of watching TV go for a walk or a bike ride
– instead of spending money save it for a down payment on a house
– instead of cashing a check from a relative, write a thank-you letter first
– instead of taking things personally put things in perspective and move on

I think that’s a good start so far. I’ll add more to that later.

*last year I primarily took the bus or biked to campus, but during the summer I tend to drive, but mainly because Dilworth is kinda far from everything, including my two jobs, so that’s my excuse. Other than that, I try to bike, walk, take the bus, etc.

The Phone Rings…

April 1, 2008

…I answer it. An unrecognizable voice tells me to wake up and finish my Social Theory papers. That was the end of my dream last night. Or rather, nightmare. Or maybe it was a warning. Regardless, the stress has finally reached the threshold. I’ve got two papers due tomorrow by noon regarding Emile Durkheim’s theories of integration. Then, there’s the group project in my Social Problems class that isn’t even off the ground yet, and we have to present around the 18th of April. I’ve got a Psychology exam on Thursday. In other words, I’m on the verge of morphing into a hermit crab and shacking up in a shell away from humanity.

My head is spinning and it’s hard for me to concentrate. I think I’m going to pull an Einstein and take a nap. Apparently, that’s what he did every time he ran into a conundrum or a sticky situation. And I just realized how shallow this post is. I mean, here is this perfect opportunity to discuss some deep subjects, but instead, I subject myself to complaining about how tired and stressed I am. Guuuuuuillllt trrrrrriip. They should make that into a movie…


Actually, at this point, I wouldn’t put it past Hollywood if they made it.

Well, on the up side, for the most part, the hives have receded back into Hell from which they came. And now, time for a nap.

P.S. – I’m categorizing this post under both Ruminations and Vendettas, just cause I have a huge vendetta against most films with Hollywood-driven concepts.

Hives Hives

March 25, 2008

This morning, I woke up with hives on my arms, sides, and thighs (but strangely enough, not on my face, back, or frontal area). I have no idea what happened here. I don’t think they’re spider bites, cause there are waaaay too many of them. It’s not my eczema, cause I’m pretty sure dry skin doesn’t turn into hives (I could be wrong though). They’re not itchy, so it’s not chicken pox (I haven’t had chicken pox yet). So I guess it’s some sort of allergic reaction. I took some antihistamines so hopefully that’ll help. If they don’t clear up by the end of tomorrow, I’ll be going to the doctor and maybe I’ll find out what the hell is wrong with me. At least Jamie Stewart isn’t singing about me.

Aside from that debacle, I’ve received some incredible news today: I have been hired at the Fargo Public Library! I go in tomorrow for a drug screen test and paperwork. After that- it’s smooth sailing, especially since I’m being hired by the city as an employee, I get benefits, even only as a part time employee.

I was seriously surprised to hear from them. It had been two, maybe three weeks since the interview, and I had given up hope that I had acquired the position. I guess it goes to show that patience can pay off.

In the meanwhile, I’ve been enjoying the latest album from Lullatone and latest EP from Animal Collective. I recommend you check ’em out. And I suppose, while I’m here telling you what to listen to, I should tell command you to go see City of Men at the Fargo Theatre. Absolutely sensational for the follow-up to City of God.

Sorry I didn’t post any of my drawings, but I figured being anxious over my hives was of more importance.

A Delay, Yes There Was.

March 20, 2008

So…I had forgotten which e-mail I used for this blog, and I couldn’t remember the password, etc., which is why I haven’t updated in a while. I do apologize. A lot has happened since I tried that dreaded, awful, foul, horrendous hemp milk. For instance, I’ve learned how to cook stir fry and fried rice.

And…oh, man, is that all that’s happened?

Well, there was Smash Brothers Brawl. That’s been fun/time consuming. And…well…damn.

Anyway, coming up next post: things I’ve drawn.

Until then, raccoon entanglement.


Hemp…Milk? My Reactions.

January 9, 2008

Below is a picture of three varieties of Hemp Bliss hemp milk. It does exist. And yes, I had some.

hemp milk

Occasionally, I like to try something new and perhaps a bit risky. You see, my lactose intolerance obviates me from fully enjoying milk (and other dairy products) without digestive consequences. Hemp milk is dairy free, since it’s made from, well, hemp. I was over at Toschi’s the other day and ventured to get some sort of other milk substitute. I’ve had rice and soy milk and much to my dismay, I’ve not enjoyed their tastes nor their textures as a milk substitute. So, I thought I’d try a plant/seed milk.

I bought the chocolate flavored hemp milk and I gotta say, it’s horrible. The taste is nutty, and sort of like…eating a piece of hemp rope. The texture is a bit on the diluted side, and it leaves a strange and unpleasant aftertaste in my mouth. Worst experience with any kind of milk. Ever. The kicker is that I spent four dollars on a little 32 ounce box of it. That’s right, box. A box that can be stored unrefrigerated before opening the seal. This isn’t a mutant kind of milk or its hideously deformed 2nd removed cousin, no my friends, this is the anti-milk. The anti-milk that claims to be milk. Let this cautionary tale forewarn you if you ever decided to drink something that’s supposed to come from the nipples of a mammal but instead comes from a plant or seed. Stick with the nipples.

Now, don’t get the wrong impression, I think hemp is useful for a lot of other things, textile or otherwise. Perhaps I could reconcile my poor experience with hemp milk by making a butterfly net out of hemp where I chase my butterfly-esque dream of being a real boy who can drink real milk someday.

Anal Retentive: Beginnings

January 1, 2008

Having published this domain name and customizing the header weeks before writing this post, I had decided to wait until January 1st of 2008 to begin posting. You may be asking, “Well why didn’t you just start posting immediately?” My answer to you is so blatantly symbolic of my personality that it is sickening. Sickening. I waited because I wanted to start this blog that coincides easily with a time line. Coincidence? Perhaps. Anal retentive? Oh yeah. Of course, nothing screams “time line” than the Gregorian calendar. And why not just go along and make the blog play nicely with easily memorable dates? It just makes it that much easier for me to remember when I started: January first, two-thousand and eight, Anno Domini, Gregorian time.

And so, at 5:23 am, there is only but the pressure of an invisible hand squeezing the back of my head into a dried orange and grime in my eyes as the lids resist the heaviness of the weight trying to pull them down. No feelings stir within and an
incommodious and self-conscience me decides to go to bed.

2008 better improve quickly. Or else.